Letter to My Future Self.

Dear Future Self.

Hello, How are you doing? I hope you are fine,on my side I am healthy and pushing well with life . I decided to write this letter because there are things we need to discuss I hope you are no longer lazy because the last time I checked even a half a page of any written thing you would doze half way just read this one because I need answers.

First, I hope you finally got married because you kept on saying you will get a wife but not in the near future. I would really love to meet your wife that is if she is there. I can’t pinpoint to a specific one that you would have married because you kept your life underwrap and never disclosed your plans to anybody. You know how you liked them hair in a ponytail(you never said why this), short(you said tall ones overshadowed you),one who can do house chores(who would want someone who sits around doing nothing) and a humble girl because you made me believe you are humble. And kids do you have any? You had said 4? 3? or 2? I can’t cleary recall how many you wanted but you liked kids although sometimes you pretended they are annoying.

Secondly,any change in physicality I know this is much to ask but hey maybe you became tall. Not like I am laughing at your height but dude you were short. I am looking forward to seeing you to check on this. And the beard did it finally grow or it kept on playing hide-and-seek with your face. I remembered how you would wake up every morning touching your cheeks to see if you are finally a bearded gang and the disappointment on your face when nothing has changed and even going to the barber with one instruction “usiguse ndevu” so now if they finally grew with your chubby cheeks that face oh me oh my.

Thirdly,are you still an introvert or you decided to open up to people and speaking of introvert is it really you were an introvert or just a shy dude or more appropriately an anti-social dude I hope you will make me understand because you never let out yourself to the world. You called yourself lonewolf who would open up one word at a time and you were careful what you said. Even though your friends were the talking type still you continued being a lonewolf and quite really when did you speak or laugh or what usually is going in your mind when other people are arguing loudly.

Lastly,I would really want to know the friends that you carried to your future. I know there is no way you carried all your friends to the future some must have been dropped,some dropped themselves. And your crushes many of them is there any that made the cut? Maybe even one is your wife or you are still in touch I would really want to know all that. And your exes finally you lost touch with them or you continued pilling them while confusing yourself that maybe they would one day come back to you.

An addition did your online writing job ever grow or it remained a fantasy far fetched. I really hope you were able to grow big into a renowned writer. I have many questions that I would really love to ask if the universe allows us to meet and have a chat. Looking forward to talking to you until then sit tight and enjoy life

Yours 

ShejiUnited

Do you Remember…?

Do you remember the jobless youth

You turned down her applications with abuses

Swinging on your cosy chair he exited your office teary

He is now a C.E.O

While you are jobless

Do you remember the pedestrian

You splattered water towards his direction in your SUV

Laughing sacarstically at him while he went to his interview

He is now a manager

While you languish in poverty

Do you remember the student

You abused her telling her she will never make it in life

Saying how poverty was planted in her family for good

She is now a doctor

While you retired a stressed teacher

Do you remember the gentleman

You turned him down because you didnt see a future in him

Because he was a work in progress while you followed the finished products

He is now rich and married

While you wallow in the sugar daddy lives

Do you remember the worker

That you underpaid with abuses

You told her she deserved the small pay and all the noises

She in now the owner of a company

While you are looking for any job

Do you Remember…?

Do you remember the jobless youth

You turned down her applications with abuses

Swinging on your cosy chair he exited your office teary

He is now a C.E.O

While you are jobless
Do you remember the pedestrian

You splattered water towards his direction in your SUV

Laughing sacarstically at him while he went to his interview

He is now a manager

While you languish in poverty
Do you remember the student

You abused her telling her she will never make it in life

Saying how poverty was planted in her family for good

She is now a doctor

While you retired a stressed teacher
Do you remember the gentleman

You turned him down because you didnt see a future in him

Because he was a work in progress while you followed the finished products

He is now rich and married

While you wallow in the sugar daddy lives
You remember the worker

That you underpaid with abuses

You told her she deserved the small pay and all the noises

She in now the owner of a company

While you are looking for any job

Life on the “fast” lane

A week ago a strange number called me and on the other end it was a female speaking,”I am concerned about Maria’s progress.” And she hung up leaving me with more questions than answers. I had to call her. “Hallo your call was brief what seem to be the matter and which Maria are you referring to?” That’s when she introduced herself as Clare saying she had gotten my number from Maria’s phone and decided to call since I was the only one she seemed close to. She went ahead and explained how Maria had became detached from everyone without a sole reason for that. Healthwise she lost a lot of weight and most of the time she spent her time sleeping and sometimes crying. I promised to go see Maria if time allows because I was revising for my end semester exam and this morning here I was knocking at Maria’s hostel door.


The door flung open and an average height light skinned lady opened the door. She had put on a sweat pant most probably she uses it as a pyjama. I greeted her and all she could do was roll her eyes and said “Poa” and went ahead and sat near the window. The room was occupied by a strong scented lady perfume odds are the cheaper ones because just a single whiff you felt life throwing up. I heard another voice from behind,” Sasa,umemake kukuja at last?” And without much thought i recognised that voice,the one that had called me a week ago.”Eeeh ndio nimekuja nimekua busy kiasi.” I quickly surveyed the room from the purple coloured curtains to the red carpet that had neatly covered the floor.” I am Clare na uyu ni Ciku maroomie wa Maria” and I nodded suggestively as if to say I knew your names, funny? Huh.


Up until now I had not seen Maria who was the main reason why I was here.”Mmejuana na Maria for how long,” Clare asked. And before I answered the gloomy looking Ciku added “Are you two dating?” And finished it with a smile the first time I had seen her smile all that time.I told them how we had known each other since first year ” All those years mkidate there is love really nakuambianga Clare husikii.” Madam gloomy jumped in with that statement but I quickly interrupted “I have never dated Maria we are just friends wazuri.” And they all smiled like to suggest I have just lied to them. Just when I was about to ask where Maria was the door opened and she got in and in that instant I knew something was amiss with her. She smiled at me a fake smile which had some lines of weakness and sadness and came over and we hugged each other.


“Yaani hamuwezi pea mgeni wangu breako?” Maria asked. The gloomy one concentrated more on her phone while Clare fixed her eyes on the make up kit she was applying to her face. I moved in and told her that if I was really angry I would have asked for breakfast myself. Maria said it was a surprise to get a visit from me and that statement made Clare to wink at me suggesting to keep her name out of the visit. I had to invent and told her I had felt it was good to come and say hi to a friend. She quickly prepared tea and some snacks and served them to me and that time the two roommates bid me and Maria good bye and went out and it seemed like they were going on a date it being a Saturday and how they had dressed. Being the only two of us in the room I swang in and asked her “You seem out of touch and quiet what is the problem Maria?” She came into her own defence and told me end of semester exams were the reason for that which I held my ground and maintained something was wrong.


I had known Maria since my second week in campus when I had gone for a C.U fellowship and she had struck me in the crowd. At that time I was the innocent dude who would go to fellowship and church service and so did Maria. After the fellowship she took me to her room and gave me some juice and snacks while conversing about our high school and our general lives. She was doing B.Sc(Acquatic) and she struck me as a very intelligent lady and that explained coming to such fellowship as opposed to house bashes which had alcohol and all sorts of drugs. That time we exchanged numbers and we could talk time to time until second year when we lost touch but still maintained each other’s number.
Maria finally opened up and said its true something was bothering her.She told me how in her first year second semester level of study her roommates who were also first years started bringing liquor and drinking them in the room. This behaviour bothered Maria and being a staunch christian she often excused herself and sometimes even sleeping in her friend’s house but it wasn’t long before the roommates started luring her into drinking. They would tell her how now she was an adult who would make her own decisions “Apa uko campo sahi si ati unaogopa mzae atakupata akuchape.” She recalled one of the roommate telling her that. One saturday the roommates bought some “mzinga”  and found Maria reading a Bible and they told her that she had to taste liquor that day. “Ii mzinga tumebuy ndio ukunywe na tutakunywa wote.” One of the roommate by the name Flora had suggested. After much protest she finally gave in and tasted the liquor and it was bitter and she recalled asking herself how drunkards find drinking enjoyable.


The only thing she recalled was her roommates dancing and she blacked out. She could hear faint voices “Uyu amechew mbio aje tumbler moja pekee?” She woke up the next day at around noon tired with a severe headache and swore never to drink again not knowing this was the beginning of a habit that would be hard to stop. In the coming couple of weeks the roommates kept on bringing liquor to the room and Maria would drink until she became a master. She immediately stopped going to Church but I aslo recalled at about that time I had also stopped going to church. Through all this escapades Maria was introduced to bhang smoking and she recalled the first time she took a puff “When I took the first puff it felt like the smoke went straight to the brain and started a windmill,my head was spinning and felt like I was floating mid air. Nilijua apa Maria umeenda kabisa!” They were habits that pushed her deeper into trouble as her performance had started plummating.


Through this behaviours she had started hooking up with different men and while some broke up with her for her drunkardness behaviour other just took advantage of her and left her. “Men would take me to the pub,buy me liquor and slept with me without my consent.” She could not stop this behaviour because she was a beneficiary too interms of the free booze and weed. All along the way she had gotten pregnant and being unable to identify the father she would abort it in an instant and go back to sleeping with the same men after getting free booze.


Then one day when everything would change her life for the worse. She was invited to a finalists bash.

“Ii bash singeweza hata everything ilikuwa apo pombe,weed,shisha and men too.” 
They arrived a little bit early and so they were served with liquor by a charmy lad and they immediately carried on with their drinking. They drunk,smoked weed,shisha and danced after all it was the final. With all this content in her system she started feeling dizzy and as fate would have it someone spiked her booze with a viagra pill and suddenly she turned vigorous and started stripping infront of the “mafisi sacco” and that night she was gangraped by three men and when she woke up in the morning she sure knew something happened.


A friend took her to the hospital as a precaution of being raped and everything went south. It was required that she be tested for HIV/AIDS, STIs and pregnancy. After about an hour of testing the doctor was ready for the results. Maria was found to have HIV/AIDS and worse the doctor found out that in the course of procurring the many abortions she had damaged her womb and that meant she could not support a pregnancy. “My whole world turned dark I could not see the doctor nor my friend who had accompanied me, I tried waking up to run but my legs had lost strength I just sat there  tears rolled down my cheeks my life was over.” She was given some counselling and told to be coming more often.


I looked at Maria she was sobbing and  I felt the pain deep down and  we embraced but the crying did not stop. As I was still consolling her Clare and Ciku got into the room and they took over the consolation and that time I got a chance to get out and go to my room.


That night I sat down and thought about the predicament Maria was going through and how many innocent girls have found themselves there and how many will find themselves there. A world full of pleasures full of enticing things but one miss-step  and you plunge into a deep sea of misery sadness and even death. All you have to do is take life slowly and not fast.

@ShejiUnited

πŸ”™πŸ”›πŸ”

Fathers Day

They are harsh,Their word is final
Don’t comprise on discipline,Punish wrongs
We tend to forget them,We tend to ignore them
They are the coolest peeps always ready to help first

All their life hustling to provide all their life trying to protect
Don’t crave for attention although they may get none
They may be the last at the table but they will be well
Truly magnificent

Provider,protector,redeemer,worker
Travel allover to make sure you don’t lack
Hustle in every weather to make sure you get everything
And in all that they don’t need any payments

Not all heroes wear caps
They are called Dads
Happy Fathers Day 

Baby Mama Drama

So the other day while coming from job – yes i have a job for those asking which job and yes am usually paid even if using tea – I made an entry into our plot and there was some deafening silence – another question whoooosh I live in a plot those state of the art plots where they provide breakfast in bed naah am kidding we only pay 1 thousand 1 sausand so don’t expect breakfast there – back to the story the whole plot was silent the pin drop silence and it is unusual and this hour to find the plot in such a quietness.

And this time of the day the whole plot would be a beehive of activities. The bachelor in the first floor would be blasting both his woofer and the television – first am going to express my displeasure to that bachelor not because we don’t own any of those fancy gadgets although that is one of the reason but it is not the main one – also at this time Mama Kama would be quarreling with imaginary people I call them imaginary because we have never seem Kama so we do not know where the name came from she is always bitter with every tenant and even the landlord so her been quiet today made me shader.

The first thing that passed my mind was that maybe Kenya Power had done their usual “Let there be darkness kind of magic” and in all this I felt sympathy for my Infinix – don’t judge because I own an infinix judge because I usually carry it without complaint everyday – the battery percentage was crying and without my phone my life is usually wrecked because how will I interact with my people on twitter ( give me a follow here @shejiunited) and WhatsApp ( after following me am going to give you the number to whatsapp me) so my heart started beating hard I mean haaard.

Before long all my questions were answered after seeing Maich standing outside his door and another Ndeche (lady) standing beside him like they were ready for a Pac vs May fight my sense of udaku aroused very fast ready to capture any news. Everyone in the plot was quiet waiting for the movie that was about to ensue or rather which had already kicked off.

Lemme take you back a bit about Maich and this girl of his although we have never known if they are dating, they have friend zoned each other or they are just siblings but the happenings in the last week gave us the answers they were really dating. That day on a Saturday everyone had been hanging around around either washing clothes,cleaning their houses, or rather for those who rely on Mama fua like me were just peeping from our windows at the cute girls bending over and having all kinds of imaginations.

Then suddenly Maich girl entered the plot and opened the house without knocking – some behaviours though girls lemme tell you something for free never come into our houses or house before knocking there are weird things we usually do while alone and you wouldn’t want to know – as soon as she entered into the room we suddenly knew something was amiss because the girl was shouting aimlessly at his boyfriend.

After a while the girl came out ( let’s call her Annete) carrying those big handbags that girls usually carry which can be fitted with empty soda bottles,make up,2 pairs of shoes,weaves,Dry Iron and many other things and she disappeared into the thin air and nobody in the plot knew what had instigated all this so we were more keen to get the full report but our suspense was answered when Maich came out with another Jesos Christo some people have guts and balls and am here a coward Tufiakwaaa.

Suddenly our plot had gotten something to talk about and that one thing reunited all of us I even got the chance to talk to my crush
“Men are stupid OMG lol”, the blonde girl from second floor retorted.
“Mimi ndio maana nilisema sitawahi bembeleza kimwanaume”,Alice blasted in front of his boyfriend this was getting out of hand.
“Nyi madem pia mnatubebanga ufala kwani sisi ndo tunaweza kuwabembeleza saitan”, Njogu said without fear or favor.
All this while I was quiet of course my crush was around I couldn’t mess.

So this evening when I saw Maich and his girl standing in a comprising way I knew there was going to be loads of entertainment for us that is why those who blast woofers were quiet the quarrelsome were silent get ready.
“Maich wewe kwa nini unanibeba ujinga kwani wewe ndio mwanaume pekee aii.”blasted Annette.
“Uyo dem ni beshte kwani ni ng’ombe nilete dem mwengine kwangu tumia akili.”Maich.
“Oooh my God so sina akili nilijua tu we unaibebaje we heeh stupid.”Annete was boiling with rage.
One look at Maich you could tell he was really pissed and was waiting for this episode to end.

Annette smelling defeat started bringing irrelevant arguments all this so that she can win this was a remarkable movie but before we could finish it The Real Kenya Power happened there was black out in the whole neighbourhood devil why us why now how we will follow this drama in darkness without worrying about our security and that is how our movie ended…
To be continued…

Dear Uncle.

Uncle  my companion,you deserve the best due to your union,tales are to be told,matter not about the old.

Days God has given onto you,don’t be confused by the ewe,onto you are showers of blessing,all over massaging and caressing.

Enjoy life as you can,and avoid to be empty like a can,all you need is life progress,that will positively sail you like a congress.

Gift of children you have been given,you should appreciate Lord and be self driven.Because they require fatherly love daily,and feel treasured and lively.

MY HEART? IT’S COLD

Big,bold and explicit headlines
Spread love not legs,exchange love not blows
It’s the month of love
A mother’s love saved her
But
My heart is cold
I don’t love,i hate with passion

Baby i love you
My mind is whispering she is a gold digger
Our love will grow
Yes you love me so dearly
But
My heart is cold
I don’t love,i hate with passion

First lover tried
I thought she was out to kill me and my family
Second lover tried
She loved me i was to love back
But
My heart is cold
I don’t love,i hate with passion

My friends convinced me of love
Since when did you become a love doctor i thought
My pastor convinced my heart to love
He had all the right reasons to do that
But
My heart is cold
I don’t love,i hate with passion

A cold heart
A bleak future
A broken dream
Who cares am good i swear am fine

Based on a true story
@Shejiunited
πŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘Š

Smile for what?

Don’t ask me for smiles,while inside there is an oozing cries,of the children left lonely,in the street wandering blindly.

Straying from unwanted path,all over filled with wrath,feeling confused and mistaken,with their Heart in anguish and broken.

Don’t ask me for smiles,while they walk hundred miles,begging for some love,and all sudden you burst into laughter.

It’s not only Friday,coming is also sunday,all together they will feast,messed up will remain the beast.

Composed by Cess

Pastor Nanii

I know of a pastor
Who drinks booze till the wee hours
He drinks till he loses balance
And in his preaching he does it with vigour
God we need a saviour for the world is over

I know of a pastor
Who smokes weed like a chimney
He smokes till he starts meditating
And when preaching he seems nearer to God than the clouds
God we need a saviour for the world is over

I know of a pastor
Who is a big time gambler
He bets on every game with offerings
And in his preaching he call such outcasts
God we need a saviour for the world is over

I know of a pastor
Who has 3 concubines in the same town
He cheats on his wife like its nothing
And in his preaching he condemns adultery
God we need a saviour for the world is over

I know of a pastor
Who frequents prostitute dens
He sleeps with them while the wife is at home
And in his preaching he says “respect your marriages”
God we need a saviour for the world is over

πŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠShejUnited